Remembering Mom on the First Anniversary of Her Death

Catherine Kostakos with me, March 1948

One year ago today — October 5, 2011 — my mother passed from earth life into heaven, joining my father, her siblings and parents, and untold numbers of family members. Although Mom was in excellent physical health prior to her death, dementia had caused significant cognitive changes and much anxiety for her and our family.

In March 2011, Mom was coping with the loss of her car and her independence after having a minor accident. She had been especially agitated for a couple of weeks. One afternoon, to my surprise and relief, she told me in a calm voice, “I talked to your father last night. He told me not to worry, that everything would be all right.” Mom’s decline was especially rapid after that day, culminating in her death six months later.

Her passing was much harder on me than I ever anticipated. After months of sadness, I decided to undertake the monumental task of digitizing her photo albums — more than 1,000 pictures. Amazingly, this arduous task became a primary source of healing. As I handled each photo, I looked into the faces of my parents and loved ones. Seeing their happy faces lifted my spirits; touching these tangible reminders of their earthly life made me feel close to them. As I worked on this project week after week, something miraculous happened — my sadness lifted and my heart was healed. This was such a profound experience for me that I wrote this article, “Their Pictures Are My History,” which was published in an online magazine.

Sunday will be Mom’s one-year memorial service at Sts. Constantine and Helen Greek Orthodox Church in the Washington DC area. As I prepare emotionally and spiritually for this and other remembrances, I know that Mom and Dad are still helping me in unseen ways, especially in the genealogical connections that have been made in the past year. I can’t help but think that Mom has rallied the troops “on the other side,” causing them to prompt their living family members to find my online trees and email me with new information. But that’s a post for another day.

Thank you, Mom, for giving me life, love, guidance and support while you were here, and for continuing to be close to me each day. I hope my life will be a testament and reflection of the importance of good parents and the values of a strong family.

(I’ve posted a few photos of my parents and me as an infant here)

Remembering Dad on Memorial Day

Andrew John Kostakos, Navy, World War II

In his personal history, my father (Andrew John Kostakos) related  memories of his service in the U.S. Navy during World War II.  His reminisces can be read here. Thank you, Dad, for your service to our country and for setting an example of honor and honesty for all of us. I love you and miss you.

Kostakos in the 1940 Census

The release of the 1940 U.S. Census yesterday is a huge boost for genealogy research. I am very excited to be able to learn more about my family by finding my grandparents and extended family members. Over the years, I’ve heard my parents talk about cousins, aunts and uncles with whom they had lost touch and whom I never had the opportunity to meet. I know that I as I find them in the census, I will come to love them and feel the special ties that they had with my parents. This the joy of genealogy research — an extension of love and family.

Because there is no name index for this census yet, I cannot go to a website, type in a name, and have my ancestors’ names pop up. In a few months, I will be able to do so. But for now, I need to have an Enumeration District (ED) number, which I obtained by getting my family’s address on April 1, 1940, then using an online tool developed by Steve Morse (found here) to obtain the ED.

Dad had told me that his parents lived 292 Broadway, Brooklyn, New York. I found Papou’s World War II Draft Registration card which verified that was his address.

John Kostakos, World War II Draft Registration Card

John Kostakos, World War II Draft Registration Card

Using Steve Morse’s tool, I learned that the ED for yiayia and papou’s address was 24-551. I then went to http://1940census.archives.gov, looked up the ED and found their census record:

1940 US Census, John Kostakos & Family

1940 US Census, John Kostakos & Family

My grandparents are found on lines 65-71, and on line 72 is my grandfather’s brother, Bill, whom Dad fondly called “Uncle Bill.” Living two houses away on lines 56-57 is the Semetis family. Aspasia, wife of Peter, is my grandmother’s sister. If you look at the very bottom of the census page, you will see that Dad’s sister, Pauline, answered some additional questions as did her cousin, Harry Semetis.

As I look through more census records in the weeks ahead, I will use the 1940 New York Telephone Directory to help me locate specific addresses. I was elated to see this link on a blogpost today.

Wishing you much success as you hunt for your family treasure in the 1940 Census!