It happens in many families. A husband and wife welcome one daughter, then two, then maybe several more into their home. When the childbearing years have passed and no sons are born, the descriptive genealogy term is that the family is “daughtered-out.”

In pre-modern Greece, this situation posed problems for the husband and wife. With several daughters to be married, several dowries were needed — a most difficult situation for poor, rural village families. The surname may or may not disappear: if it is prevalent in the village, and if others with the surname are not daughtered-out, the surname will survive; if that is the only family with the surname, it will end.

But perhaps the biggest concern of the parents is: who will succeed the father as patriarch in the home? Who will be the head of the household, and assume the responsibilities of providing for and protecting the family? The patriarch provides financial support by earning a living and managing the money. He is the decision-maker in the home and provides his family emotional support and guidance. He preserves the family’s traditions and cultural heritage and serves as the primary role model for his children and grandchildren. He is revered–or sometimes feared–but always respected.

One solution to this dilemma is the introduction of a sogamvros, a man who marries one of the daughters. He leaves his father’s home and family to live in his wife’s household, thus assuming the role of patriarch in her family after her father dies.

Here is an example found in a search of the 1844 Voter Lists for the village of Agios Ioannis, Sparta, on GreekAncestry. Notice the suffix, –gamvros, in each name:

Thirty years later, the 1872 Voter Lists of the village reveals these names:

• Στρατηγόγαμβρος, Χρ. (Stratigogamvros, Chr.) age 28
• Τρακόγαμβρος η Σαχάμ, Π. (Trakogamvros or Sacham, P.) age 32
• Τρατόγαμβρος Μιχ. (Tratogamvros, Mich.), age 35

Remember, surnames were “fluid” (changeable) or even non-existent before the 20th century, thus; the sogamvros may or may not change his name upon marriage. We cannot determine if the prefix is the original surname of the man, a nickname, or the name of the family he married into: Kontogeorgo-, Stratigo-, Trato-, Trako-. (As an aside, N. Stratigogamvros and Mich. Tratogamvros are found in both the 1844 and 1872 Voter Lists, which demonstrates the importance of examining all extant records for your surname.)

The irony of a sogamvros is that after he joins his wife’s family, he becomes “lost” in his own. He has left his home, resides in his wife’s house, and has a change in his name. If we find that a sogamvros has married in our family, how can we determine which family and village he was from?

Gregory Kontos of Greek Ancestry explained: “We may never know the man’s original name unless we find a document or notary record (contract, will, etc.) that states his father’s name or which village he was originally from. Or, if there is a family story that provides that information.”

In my recent interview with researcher Tom Frangoulis, he related that the only way he knew a male relative became a sogamvros in another village was because a family member mentioned that fact in a written family history.

Alternately, if we are “missing” a male in our family, could he have become a sogamvros in another village?

My branch of the Kostakos family is now daughtered-out. My father was the only son; my brother was the only son, and he has two daughters. If we lived in our village of Agios Ioannis a couple of generations ago, someone who married one of my nieces would become a sogamvros. To reflect his new role as patriarch, perhaps he would have chosen to take Kostakos surname, thus becoming a “Kostagamvros.” By leaving his family and joining ours, his identity would change. If no one documents this fact, his origins may be forever lost.

Let’s be sure we write something about the history of our family. How sad it would be if people “disappeared” because we did not take the time to document what we have learned about our ancestral lines.

ADDENDUM: My sincere appreciation to Achilleas Gazis, who wrote the following corrections to this post: “Two points to notice: the prefix is always the name of the family he married into; Your sogamvros would be Kostogamvros, not Kostagamvros.”